Share a song that makes you laugh.
It's a pre-made question kinda day. Here it is:
Have you ever broken a bone? If not, what's the worst injury you've sustained?
This is a great question for a former carnie who has never (knock on wood) broken a bone.
Once upon a time, I was performing an act called Spanish Web. Looks like me getting spun around just like you see me getting spun around below. My routine involved starting with my hand in that loop up there and getting spun, then transitioning to my foot in that loop and getting spun, going back to my hand for the "fast spin" as if the rest of the spinning wasn't fast enough, and then hitting the ground and trying not to puke.
Well, the guy who "set my web" (spins me) was pretty damn strong. Stronger than he realized. I was fine through the whole routine, even through the fast spin - it was just a bit faster than I was accustomed to. Hey, congrats to me, great routine. Fast forward to the next day when I woke up and had to go to work, as a bartender, and I looked a little something like this:
Well, you know, except my iris and skin are quite a bit more brown. Fortunately, this only caused pain to the people who had to look at me. It's a fairly common circus mishap.
__________________________________________________
Hey, since we're on the topic of cicus pain, here's another doozy. A lot of circus acts are trust-based, although some more than others. Because I was, in a previous life, a sheer lunatic, I would try just about anything on a circus apparatus. Yeah, yeah, get your mind out of the gutter. It's just not comfortable unless it's the trampoline and even that better be the right tramp bed, but I digress. On that there flying trapeze (please ignore my non-pointed toes), I just loved to try out new tricks.
Of course, upon trying new tricks, you are in the comfort and security of safety lines and a safety belt (not pictured above but can be purchased for the low, low price of $19.95. That's right, $19.95!). And in whom might I place all of my trust? Well, the chief of circus, who else?!?! He's been doing this for YEARS! He won't let me get hurt. You don't even need foreskin foreshadowing to see where this is going.
New trick: One and a half. See that bar that I have apparently just left? Well in a one and a half, I hold on to it, and upon release, I do one full somersault and then one half somersault so that the dude with no shirt can catch me. By my legs. Slightly difficult but not as hard as many, many other things there are to do.
There I am, fearless maniac, ready to go. I get though the trick and prepare to hit the net. Here's the rub: the chief of circus didn't think I was going to get myself positioned to properly hit the net and not get hurt, so he gave me a tug on the safety lines. Basically, this causes a cease-fire in momentum and me dropping like a rock. Onto my head. This was the first (and hopefully last) time that I have ever gotten knocked around so hard that I literally saw stars. I may have momentarily blacked out.
Two things I remember:
- Hearing someone say "Sunshine, you're scaring the nurse" because I was laying in the net and not moving. Gee, sorry to scare the nurse but I'm not sure I still have all my pieces in the proper places.
- Not wanting to scare the nurse and dragging my sorry ass out of the net complete with a circus-style smile and wave.
No worse for wear on that one but damn if it doesn't remind me of another Spanish Web injury.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Spin, spin, spin, spin.
Wake up the next day with a cramp in the ole neck. Think some aspirin will kill it but be horribly wrong. Go to the mall with at-the-time boyfriend. Feel pain but ignore it like carnies do. Until, that is, a muscle spasm PUTS ME ON MY KNEES in 5-7-9. Seriously. Ouch. He had to pick me up off the floor at which point he was rather insistent upon my going to the doctor.
In the doctor's office I sit, trying my best not to move, not to blink, not to breathe, for fear of another spasm. Have you ever smashed your finger with a hammer? Jammed a knife into your side? Put your hand on a red-hot burner? Me either, but I'm guessing those pains may have been nothing compared to what was going on in my neck. Upon finally seeing the doctor, he tried to examine me. I say tried because, he basically had the bedside manor of a dirty diaper. Please, jam your fingers right into the muscle in my neck that I have injured so that it will spasm again and I can twitch off of your examining table into a puddle of crying mess.
Doctor - not happy. Me - even less so. Doctor's answer was to put me in a cervical collar. Um, how about no? The millisecond that he put the velcro together I believe the phrase is that I "screamed like a Banshee". Yeah, more pain. At this point, I am certain that I have laced my conversation with F-bombs and questioned the doctor's ability to practice medicine so he was quite tired of me. He wrote me a script for muscle relaxers and some codeine and we became friends.
As a side note, I was supposed to work that night. I tried to explain to my boss, who was annoyed that I was participating in circus activities because my job was BARTENDING, DAMMIT, that I could not come to work because I had been to the doctor and I was in serious pain. There was no room for belief of my claim in sight and I had already taken the muscle relaxer. Fortunately, my roomie was super sweet and pretty much dressed me and helped me walk over to work. It's quite possible that I was slobbering on myself when I entered the bar. Boss took one look at me, shook his head and sent me home. Happy ending. Not that kind.
Doesn't that make you want to run out and join the circus?
>.< stuff
- Up until last night, a serious lack of good sleep
- I miss my Kiddo although I know she's in good hands and is having a blast
- Dude. Work. Seriously. I'm smarter than this.
- Almost finished with Duma Key already
:-D stuff
- 4th of July weekend was totally fun
- A mere four days remain until vacation for real
- Two melatonin let me sleep through one hell of a storm
- I'll be an iPhone whore in a couple days
- The second bathroom will function within the next month!
- Hooray book club
- BruddaShyner may go check out Kiddo at camp
- The end of accounting is in sight
- OMG, last night's hamburgers were freaking delicious
- EDAMAME!
- It's 2 for Tuesday. Hoo HA!
What question do you hate being asked?
What question do you hate being asked?!?!?
Was awesome!
Just some photos from the weekend.
How long do you take in the shower?
Submitted by Strive2Be.
Umm, well it depends on what I'm doing in there. This morning I was running late so it was 4 minutes. But longer if I am shaving my lady parts and/or washing the ridiculous mop on my head.
Then it also depends on if Lovey's in there. We end up standing in there and talking (I know it wastes water, I'm sorry.).
I'll stop there because anything else is probably just TMI.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND ALL!
I've seen this is a few places and thought I would see how I would do too.
I think I'm pretty tough. :-)
The last few days have been, well, somewhat ridiculous. Let's see....
- Friday - hey, it's the start of the weekend, woo hoo, let's go! Except my car won't start. Get a jump (because it's always the battery no matter what's REALLY wrong) and head home. On the way home, car stalls out. Won't turn over. Yikes! Fortunately, I'm going downhill and have a stick shift and grew up with all boys and know how to pop the clutch. Got it home.
- Saturday - well, it's still the weekend. Let's run some errands and get some battery terminal cleaner to fix up the Scoot Mobile. Get the bikes tuned up and ready for the week in the Keys. And, oh delicious fatness, the chicken wing cook-off.
- Sunday - finish up some homework, lay around contemplating what to do. Do nothing.
- Monday - back to the grind. Everything seems normal. The Scoot Mobile hiccups one time but gets home with no other problems. One of my houseplants died. The horror!
- Tuesday - hey, the Scoot Mobile needs gas so leave the house early to stop at the gas station. Throw in $20 worth and hop back in to find that....IT WON'T START! Luckily the gas station is only about 3 blocks from the house so back to the house I hoof in heels. Poor Lovey. He came over to the station to give me a jump, but alas, there was no jumping to be had. In the end, he pushed me home with his truck.
- Tuesday (cont) - gotta fix it, gotta fix it, gotta fix it. The Scoot Mobile is an old girl but it's kind of like dog years. She's old for, maybe a Chevy, but for a Honda, 14 years is a spring chicken. Lucked out in that the place by the house could see her and did and quickly and best of all, for under $200 fixed her up. Not only did they fix the problem (bad ignition switch) but they also tightened up everything so it feels like I'm driving a new car! They rock. They get to fix Scoot from now on.
- Wednesday - hey, that's today! It's quiet, thankfully. Me and Scoot came to work with no problems. We just found out that we get to leave at 1 tomorrow (although coming in at 7:30 makes this not as great) and a romantic weekend with Lovey is a mere 30 hours away. I'm loving life at the moment. Oh yeah, kinda funny that MommaShyner is now playing the Plurk game too. She's funny. Wanna see her? Love my MommaShyner although she needs to match her makeup color a little better.
-
I hope that your day is filled with cool stuff! There's only a little bit of madness left until a nice, long weekend. Mount up!
* - Hectosity is the crazy state of hectic-ness
Share a song you listened to in 6th grade.
Oh how I loved this song!
The windows of the church are open and a lovely summer breeze is blowing through. Sun shines through every window of the house. The church and its occupants feel renewed, particularly the Reverend.
I think a little relaxing Neil Young is appropriate for this morning that we have gathered together in the new house of ROCO. The good Reverend is a little happy, a little relaxed and a little ready to lead her congregation into the weekend. Let the congregation say, ROCO!
Today, my good people, I wish to extoll the virtues of paying an extra couple bucks for lifetime servicing. Two years ago, I had to purchase new tires for my used car. Said car was a gift (thanks be to MommaShyner's husband). So, the Green Machine's got some 17' wheels on it, yeah, rims too. She looks so nice when she's clean, but I digress. When I purchased the tires, they added on the lifetime service. Any time I got a nail in it, or got a flat or anything like that, I just roll on up to Tire Kingdom and voila, it's fixed. Well, yesterday on the way home from work, I felt the car was driving a little funny. And when I drove over one of those little reflectors in the middle while changing lanes and heard a hellacious thump, I knew that something was wrong. At my earliest opportunity, I pulled over to find that, indeed, my tire was darn near flat. I limped over to Tire Kingdom and asked them to fill 'er up. That's when we saw a big 'ole sliver of silver something or another sticking out of my tire. WAH! But, at no charge to me but my time, my tire is fixed and the Green Machine is rolling once again. Hallelujah! And ROCO!
Summer is upon us. Now is the time for the ROCO congregation to go out and gather more folks for the flock. Spread the love, spread the word! ROCO for everyone!
Speaking of summer, welcome to it. Get a pedi then get your flip-flops out. Don't wear socks and sandals. If you do, you will be ridiculed by the congregation. Go to the beach! Wear sunscreen. Sunshine on your shoulders really does make you happy....oh the fun I've had with that one.
It's time for BBQs and fireworks, ribs and beer, chicken and waffles (WHAT?!?!) and all that summer stuff.
It's time for wing cookoffs and bar crawls. Pray for me tomorrow evening please.
It's time to love yourself and love your neighbor. It's time to gather your friends and family and let them know that it's okay. It's certainly okay to ROCO!
So, on this summery Friday, on this payday for some, on this day where I have cake even though I'm supposed to be on a diet, on this day where I'm doing what I do best (procrastinating), I want to gather the flock in close and let you all know that I appreciate you joining me here in Fridays. Without you, I am just one and one alone cannot properly rock out.
With that, I am going to close today's sermon. Take with you the love and spread it ROCO-style.
